By Molly Patrick
Feb 29, 2020
Today we’re ditching missionary style and we’re doing things a little differently.
Dust off the ol’ crotchless undies, align your chakras, and let’s get cozy.
When Luanne and I started Clean Food Dirty Girl in 2014 I knew I was going to have to start writing on a regular basis because besides video, how else do you connect with people all over the world from your computer (on a Wednesday morning while pantless and double fisting peanut butter stuffed dates)?
You write. You keep writing. You write some more.
You write emails, you write blog posts, you write landing pages, you write sales pages, you write website copy, you write receipt templates, you write for other websites so they will link to your website, you write your bio (10 gajillion times until it stops sounding like a dog barfing), you write Facebook posts, you write Instagram posts, you stare at Twitter wondering how to use it, then you write something short because you’re pretty sure that’s how it works.
You write until your keyboard goes out, your fingers are sore, and your ass is numb.
And then you write some more.
This was all fine and dandy apart from the teeny tiny fact that I was scared shitless to write because I was horrible at spelling and grammar and I did not consider myself to be a natural writer. But if I wanted to start my own thing online (which I wanted even more than three baby goats on my lap), I was going to have to fake the funk and start writing anyway.
Sometime in 2014, I found Ash Ambirge and her company, The Middle Finger Project. I was hooked from the get-go. Her real talk, her cussy ways, her fuck YES attitude, her advice about business and writing, it all worked for me. I was smitten.
I already knew that I didn’t want to be like every other plant based / vegan website / business out there. I wanted to be inclusive, I wanted to be real. I wanted my personality to be part of the deal, and I wanted to use the word fuck when deemed necessary (which as it turns out, is often).
Ash and her Middle Finger project gave me the pass I needed to say fuck it, and present my business to the world in a way that I have fun doing it.
Ash and her Middle Finger project gave me the pass I needed to say fuck it, and present my business to the world in a way that I have fun doing it. She is a warrior of words, a champion of authenticity, and the queen of staking your claim and going after what you want with vigor, a martini, and hot pink lipstick. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out that she had agreed to chat with me about her new ass-kicking book that just dropped! I could not wait to get on screen with her and talk about business and life and whatever else came up.
The morning of our video call, my armpits were literally dripping with sweat, and my stomach felt like it had a small to medium-sized camel in it. I was equal parts shit-scared-nervous and holy-shit-excited. As I suspected, she was a pure delight to talk with.
This video has absolutely nothing to do with eating a plant based diet, so if that’s what you’re after, skip it. Unless of course, you want to live the life of your DAMN DREAMS, and then, by all means, peep the goods!
Warning: this video contains exactly 2.4 billion curse words, so if your little one is around, or your conservative great Aunt Mildred, throw in some earbuds for this one.
Ash, thank you from the bottom of my teepee loving heart for talking with me. Your light shines BRIGHT as shit!
Ash’s new book is called The Middle Finger Project: Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live The Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve. Read it, read it, read it! Also, check out her website, The Middle Finger Project for a much-needed dose of mic drops.
Have you ever wanted to start your own thing? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!
- 2 packages tempeh, steamed (directions below) (227 g / 8 oz each)
- 2 cups water (475 ml)
- 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika powder
- 1/4 cup water (60 ml)
- 1/4 cup vegan Worcestershire sauce (60 ml)
- 2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
- 2 tablespoons 100% pure maple syrup
- 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
- 4 teaspoons smoked paprika powder
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1 teaspoon cumin powder
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper (about 20 turns)
Tempeh Steaming Instructions
- Cut each tempeh block in half so you have 4 thick pieces.
- Add two cups of water and the 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika to a pot, along with a steamer basket, and bring to a boil. Place all 4 pieces of tempeh in the steamer basket (it's okay if they stack on one another) and place a lid on the pot. Turn the heat to medium and steam for 15 minutes. If you don't have a steamer basket, no worries! Simply place the tempeh pieces directly into the simmering water and continue with the recipe as written.
Smoky Tempeh Instructions
- While the tempeh is steaming, mix up your Marinade by placing all of the Marinade ingredients into a small bowl and whisking until combined.
- When the tempeh is done steaming, use tongs to carefully transfer the tempeh from the pot to a cutting board. Allow to cool for 5 minutes. When cool, slice each piece widthwise into 12 slices about 1/4" thick, for a total of 48 strips. Place the slices in a flat-bottomed storage container and pour the marinade on top. Use your hands to gently coat all the pieces. Allow to marinade for 15-20 minutes.
- Preheat your oven to 425 °F (220 °C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or silicone baking mat.
- Carefully transfer the Tempeh slices to your baking sheet and arrange in a single layer. Smear any remaining Marinade over the slices.
- Bake for 15 minutes then turn each slice over and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes, until browned on the edges.
- To make a most badass sandwich, lightly toast (or not) two slices of your favorite whole grain bread, smear some avocado on both slices of bread, layer on Smoky Tempeh Strips, top with sliced tomatoes, and your favorite lettuce greens. Take a big ol' bite and savor the yum.
- If mayo is more your jam, check out
this recipefor a staple whole food plant based sandwich spread.
Wishing you a happy week. May it be filled with betting on YOU!