I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that most of you have never milked an almond. It’s pretty out there even for me (but I grew up in a teepee so I don’t know why I just said that).
I’ve heard of people doing it but I always thought these people to be way cooler than me (and for some reason skinny, tanned and wearing a perpetual sarong, even in winter).
The good people making their own nut milk for sure have a copy of “Wild Fermentation” sitting on their kitchen table, at least two dream catchers in their house, a bottle of homemade hooch under on their kitchen sink (you guys, I don’t know why it’s under their sink) and definitely only drink from Mason Jars.
My nut milk makers are most probably named Stella, Lux and Vita and for some reason the Velvet Underground is playing in the background and they are all holding hands.
Well playas, I’m here to tell you that normal people can make Almond Milk and frankly, it is absolutely fucking delicious. Those dream catching, hooch makin’, hobo babes are on to something!
Here is my basic recipe on how to make almond milk. Try it, it’s not scary, I promise.
Almond Milk Ingredients
1 cup raw almonds, soaked in water for 4 hours up to overnight
4 cups of water
3-6 dates, soaked in water for an hour (use 6 if you like it on the sweet side)
1 teaspoon Vanilla
Pinch of Sea Salt
So, this is stupidly easy…
- You soak the almonds for at least 4 hours and then drain them.
- You put the almonds in your blender (it doesn’t have to be a fancy pants blender. Mine is from the 70’s and I’m pretty sure it’s going to out-live me) along with the water, dates, vanilla and salt.
- Blend, blend, blend until all of the almonds are blended (this will take only about 1 minute)
- Put a bowl under either a strainer, a nut milk bag (you can for sure find this at Whole Foods or any other healthy grocery store where White people like to shop) or regular old cheese cloth (but make sure the cloth isn’t actually old and gross)
- Pour the mixture into the sieve-like accessory that you chose and drain the milk into the bowl.
- You may have to press a spoon into the mixture or use your hands and squeeze out the milk (yes, like milking a cow’s tit but way less gross. Why are people still drinking milk from an actual cow? You guys, it’s gross) so that all of the liquid is extracted.
- Drink within 3-4 days
Taste, ponder and quickly email me back to tell me how rad this is (but not before you update your Facebook status to tell all your friends how cool you are that you are going to make your own nut milk. I did this so I know you will too)
(and, if you happen to have dream catchers, drink from mason jars or are into fermenting things, email me. I want to be friends. Especially if you make your own hooch. Seriously, I
like love to drink and I want to drink homemade hooch with you).
I like interacting with you so hit me up here if you want to say hi or bitch me out about making fun of your kitchen
Here’s a quick 4 minute video demo on how to make Almond Milk
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