I Urge You To Stop Feeling Guilty About Taking Time For Yourself + Instant Pot Lemon Poppyseed Steel Cut Oats


“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”  ~The Buddha

One of the things I see most often in our Dirty community is that people (especially women) are quick to do everything for everyone else, leaving negative ten minutes for themselves.

You make sure that your kids and partners and parents and co-workers and pets and jobs and house are sorted, while you put yourself dead last on the priority list. You might have time to brush your teeth and wash your face before bed, pee in peace and read two pages of your book before you pass the hell out, but that’s about it for you and your needs. And then you wake up and do it all over again.

And if, by some miracle of epic proportion, you do take a moment for yourself, you are immediately cloaked in a thick sheet of guilt that you just can’t shake until said “me time” has come to an end.

And I get it, being someone who is nurturing and caring by nature, I know how easy it is to slip into the habit of putting everyone else first. This is something that I’ve had to check myself on plenty.

Here’s the irony of the situation. If we don’t nurture and take care of ourselves, there’s no possible way that we can give our best to the people and responsibilities in our life.

So in order to truly show up for anyone else, you must show up for yourself first.

We might think we’re being super helpful getting ALL the things done for everyone else, even when we’re exhausted and burnt out, but in reality, we’re doing them a disservice by not giving them our best. Simply because we neglect doing the very things that help us BE OUR BEST.


There was a big webinar that I taught last year with thousands of participants. It was the day before the webinar and I had a shit-ton to do before I went live the next day. There was an evening yoga class that I wanted to go to but I told myself that there was no way I had time for it.

As I was putting the final touches on my webinar a thought hit me, loud and clear. It said:

“Molly, everyone who joins your webinar tomorrow deserves your very best. And that yoga class will help you be at your best. GO TO YOGA.”

I dropped what I was doing, drove my ass to yoga and sweated it out for an hour and a half. After class I felt grounded, strong, confident, and ready to put on a fantastic, educational and inspiring webinar. And I did!

Here’s another example of this in action.

A few weeks after I quit drinking and smoking for good, my mom called me at 9pm one night. This was weird because she never calls this late. I picked up my phone and heard her crying on the other end. At the time I lived down the street from her so I threw on some clothes and ran to her house. She was outside her apartment crying and I wrapped my arms around her and I sat with her for two hours. Listening. Wiping her tears. Holding her hand. And holding the space for her emotions. As I walked home later that night I shed tears of my own. But they were tears of gratitude for being able to show up for my mom when she needed me.

If this would have happened a month earlier, I would have been passed out in bed from too much wine, unable to even answer the phone when my mom called, let alone show up strong for her. It had never been so clear to me that only when we are operating from our best, can we truly show up for other people. And when we can truly show up for other people, THAT is the reward.

Wherever you’re at on your path of becoming the best version of yourself that you can muster, know that it’s worth it and keep going. Your people need you and you need them.

So, go to that yoga class.
Book that massage.
Read that inspirational book.
Put down the bottle.
Follow your meal plans and batch cook.
Take 10 minutes to meditate.
Book a retreat.
Go to bed early.

Do whatever it is you have to do that helps bring peace, balance, health, calm, focus and strength into your life. THAT is how you pour from a full cup, my dear. And there is absolutely ZERO to feel guilty about.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

The Buddha

Today’s recipe is my favorite way to eat steel cut oats. You’ll see why as soon as you take your first bite!

Lemon Poppyseed Steel Cut Oats (Instant Pot)

Author: Molly Patrick


  • ½ cup steel cut oats (100g)
  • 2 cups water (475ml)
  • 1 tablespoon coconut sugar (optional)
  • 1 tablespoon poppy seeds
  • 1 heaping teaspoon lemon zest
  • ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Non-dairy milk and chopped almonds for serving 


  • Rinse the oats in a fine mesh strainer. Tap the strainer against the sink to remove excess water and transfer the oats to your Instant Pot. 
  • Add the new water, stir, and lock the lid into place, making sure the nozzle is pointed in the sealing position. Use the manual setting and set the timer for 10 minutes. Use the natural release method when the timer is up.

  • When all the pressure is out of the pot, remove the lid and stir in the coconut sugar, poppy seeds, lemon zest and vanilla. It might seem like the oats have too much liquid in them at first. This is okay, they will thicken as they cool. Allow them to cool completely before you store them in your fridge. 
  • Serve your oats warm with a bit of non-dairy milk and chopped almonds. 

Wishing you a happy week. May it be filled with saying FUCK YES to yourself! And then telling guilt to simmer on down.


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Our Sweary Saturday Love Letters are written by our ex-boozer, ex-smoker, plant-loving co-founder, Molly Patrick.


  1. Hayley on February 10, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    5 stars
    This was delicious though I have to admit to subbing the cooking water with plant milk since in England that’s how we cook our oats. Anyhow it was like eating a plate of cookies. Yum!

    • Nanette Stearns on February 25, 2018 at 6:17 am

      I use part plant-based (nut-based) milk and part water when cooking steel cut oats. I like mine a bit creamier than water alone would make them. This is a really great recipe and I’ve made it several times.

  2. Michelle on February 22, 2018 at 11:50 am

    This looks and sounds so tasty! I don’t have an instant pot though.

    • Molly Patrick on February 22, 2018 at 12:04 pm

      HI Michelle,
      Follow this method and add in the extra stuff form this recipe.
      Problem solved!

  3. Cynthia on October 21, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    5 stars
    This was so delicious – I would not have thought to add poppy seeds and lemon zest! It was such a cool change from my usual plain boring steel cut oats. It was even yummier the next day after sitting in the fridge. Thank you for sharing. I made the mistake of adding poppy seeds before cooking. Yikes – poppy seeds EVERYWHERE. Do not be me – do not add poppy seeds before cooking.

    • Team Clean Food Dirty Girl on October 23, 2019 at 11:50 am

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing, Cynthia! I am so curious to know what happened with your poppy seeds? I’ve added mine before cooking using the IP too, but never had an issue. They just were a little bigger from having absorbed liquid. ~Karen

  4. Lisa Mahoney on February 4, 2020 at 7:36 am

    Sounds yummy! How many servings would this be?

    • Team Clean Food Dirty Girl on February 4, 2020 at 9:57 am

      Hi Lisa, it’s about two servings.

      • Lisa Mahoney on February 4, 2020 at 1:19 pm

        Great. Thanks! I made it and it is good. I want to try the pumpkin steel oats next!

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