By Molly Patrick
Aug 12, 2014,
Over the weekend I was getting my legs waxed and my esthetician asked me what I do for a living.
What I do isn’t cut and dry like it is for some professions. School teacher, nurse, mechanic – these are all pretty standard answers that don’t require extra creativity in the explantation. So I decided a while back to come up with an elevator pitch for what I do.
Before I tell it to you, have I ever told you how hairy I am?
I’m like a blonde Italian person. If I let the hair grow out on my legs it would look like a blonde jungle. There would be monkeys.
My armpit hair is also very coarse and thick. I have to shave every other day just to keep up with it. And the weird thing about my armpit hair is that it’s dark brown.
I have a mix and match of colors going on with my body hair, but the thickness and huge quantity is consistent throughout.
Shaving my legs just doesn’t make sense. I would be in the shower ALL THE TIME.
So, here I am at the wax center, my nice hair remover lady ripping my hair from their follicles when the inevitable question, “what do you do for a living?” came up.
My elevator pitch goes something like this:
“I help people eat more plants.”
After I gave my hair ripper my line, she said:
“Oh cool, what types of products do you use?”
Me:
“What do you mean?”
Nice hair ripper lady:
“What meal replacement product or protein powder do you sell. Or is it a pill?”
And there it was, the perfect example of why I fucking love what I do.
I get to explain to people in a nice, non-preachy, friendly and all encompassing way that the body thrives when we eat a variety of whole plant foods and that actually, vitamins and minerals which are extracted and put into pills, shakes and powders don’t do very much good for the body. In fact, they can even have damaging effects.
Whereas eating broccoli, chard, sweet potatoes, blueberries, etc. has no negative side effects or consequences.
Plus, getting our nutrients from food is much cheaper than from pills, shakes and powders.
I love that I get to have this conversation with people.
It has never made sense to me to eat stuff that has been formulated in a lab by scientists. It makes sense to eat things that come from the ground.
This isn’t about learning. This is about unlearning and allowing food to be your medicine. Our weekly Plant Fueled Meal Plans show you how to do exactly that.
Here’s a super easy salad dressing that will make you literally crave big green salads.
Ingredients
- ½ cup raw cashews, soaked in water for 10 minutes (65 g)
- 1 tablespoon dried dates, pitted and soaked in hot water for 10 minutes (10 g / can be soaked with cashews)
- ⅔ cup water (155 ml)
- 2 tablespoons lemon juice (30 ml)
- 1 teaspoon dried dill
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- ½ teaspoon garlic, cloves peeled and left whole (1 g)
- ½ teaspoon salt
Instructions
- Drain the cashews and dates and discard the soaking water.
- Place the cashews and dates into your blender, along with the rest of the ingredients, and blend until super creamy and smooth. If your dressing is too thick, thin with a bit of water to reach your desired thickness.
- Store in the refrigerator and use within 5 days.
83 Comments
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I will not be back to your page because of your language. You have a right to talk how you like, just like I have a right to not return.
Your loss. (What did you think Dirty Girl meant? Porn?)
LOL
Amen to that!
LOL Good grief. I skipped over the essay because I just wanted the recipe. Then I HAD TO go back and see what was so nasty. Sigh. With the world on fire, you’d think people would have more to get their panties in a wad over, wouldn’t you?
Terrific recipe, by the way!
Ha! You would think! Glad you liked the recipe. xoxoxoox
Molly
I guess I missed something; but the recipe looks awesome. I just need together some dates.
Self-elimination is a thing of beauty.
Did you not actually read anything about the site? lol
Lol
You really must live a sheltered life if one swear word in a very funny blog has upset you so much that you will not return to it!
Thank god you will not be returning I’m mean really thank every god you will not be returning
I fucking love reading it. I also fucking love my job.. Kudos to you..
Oh my gosh. People can’t seem to exist in this world without having a problem with every little thing. I love your writing style. I’m excited to have found your page. Very excited and motivated to try some of these recipes! Keep doing you ❤
I am trying to use up some older items I have in my pantry (before I am forced to just toss them). I stumbled on your recipe for cashew cheese the other day and made it!
LOVE!!
While I was looking at your recipes the other day I remembered seeing this one and decided that I would make this when I was out of my vinegar-based dressing (which is so over-powering most of the time). I am sitting here devouring a salad with the most delicious plant-based dressing I have ever tasted in my life!
I haven’t read through much of your blog, so I don’t know if you’re a professional chef, but, you’ve got a gift with flavors, and textures, and I just wanted to thank you for such a fantastic dressing!
I look forward to trying more of your recipes!
Hey Linda –
I’m so happy you like this recipe!
I am not a professional chef, but I have an extensive background in vegan food. I give out new recipes every Saturday morning via email. Jump in on that action for free here: https://cleanfooddirtygirl.com/signup/
xo
Molly
Cut and dry teachers burst with creativity on a daily basis. This creative teacher creates delicious food all the time without cursing or putting other professionals down. Your food might be average but you put off many with your language.
I’m not for everyone – ain’t it the truth!
xo
Molly
So thankful to Molly whose delicious recipes got my daughter, son-in—law, and me through transitioning from unhealthy to plant-based food. You’re a star, Molly.
Isn’t freedom of speech freaking amazing? At any point, anyone can set up a blog, say whatever they want while creating a business out of it and work for themselves. You can do that too if you so wish 🙂
Molly….why would you do this?? Why would you put out a recipe for crack-sauce??? Really, really good!! My daughter (who is a horrible vegetarian, btw, we call her what she is: a carbophile) announced she was tired of our basic balsamic dressing…tired of the tang of vinegar…so I remembered seeing this recipe on your site and decided to try it. It is love! I can see this going on sauteed greens in my near future.
p.s.
I still have four kids at home (two in college, two in high school) plus a husband, an occasional step-child, and the random comings and goings of the oldest son and his fiance. I know it’s not your forte on account of your cozy situation of two, but do you have any tips or posts for large families? I would go broke keeping the whole gang in cashew dressings on a regular basis! Four of us our veg, but I don’t cook with meat, eggs, or milk, so the rest get veg cooking too.
Thanks!
At the risk of offending She Who Will Never Return, this Ranch Dressing is FUCKING DELICIOUS. Shame on you for making such a small recipe, though. I doubled it and don’t anticipate it last through the weekend.
The first oil free salad dressing that tastes like the real thing! Thanks so much.
Whooot! I do what I do for people like YOU!
Thanks for the love.
xo
Molly
Your recipes are great ! Live your life ! Love the language, I’ll be back to your page over and over!
I like this dressing I’m going to put it on kale and dehydrate see if it’s like ranch chips!!
Hey Julie –
This sounds awesome!
Keep me posted.
xo
Molly
To the uptight and clearly clueless people who feel compelled to comment that they are not following CleanFoodDirtyGirl due to language – nobody cares! Go away! Good riddance! If you have the time to post such nonsense, you REALLY need to get a life. Love your writing, Molly, love your recipes, and love this community.
Ha! I love it!
Thank you Trudi.
xo
Molly
I tried this with raw onion as I didn’t have any onion powder at home – it was fucking amazing as well, added fresh herbs (ramson and a bit of basil). It’s obviously a bit stronger in flavour. The only issue with using raw onion, I would suppose, is that it probably doesn’t keep very long. However, that’s not really an issue, because it’s So. Friggin. Good.
Whoot! So glad you like it!
xo
Molly
I just made this. It was *holy hell* delicious! I am a ranch dressing lover from way back and this was super satisfying in that drenched in ranch way that I loved.
Sweet! So glad you liked it.
There’s nothing like drenching stuff in Ranch!
xo
Molly
Was reviewing the top 15 after your fuckery today, and I have to say, after I read the offended woman’s post, I had to go back and read because I couldn’t remember any bad language, ha ha.
Can’t wait to try the ranch.
I can relate to what you said about hair (am a light blonde naturally–don’t get why my hair was like that), and I suffered waxing for a long time. Consider laser hair removal. Changed my life.
Hi Anne –
Thanks for the laser tip!
Def. try this ranch – it’s pretty amazing.
xo
Molly
Saw Anne’s post about She Who Will Never Return and also had to re-read your fuckery (my fat fingers also mis-typed that as ‘fickery’ and my phone autocorrected to ‘fuckery’!); and, for the record, you only used the word ‘fuck’ once!
I think I have a girl crush on you! (Sorry Luanne) You have a way with words and give the lowest common denominator (newbies like me) a guiding hand to hold while just making things simple!
Oh and I fucking love this ranch!!
Hey Jen –
Smoooches to you!
(Luanne will just have to share)
xoxooxox
Molly
Add me to the list of people who had to go back and reread the post to find the offensive language. Ha ha. Fuck it.
Re: the recipe, could/should I use the soaking water from the cashews and/or date for all or part of the water in the recipe?
Looking forward to trying this!
Hey Beth,
You can use some of the soaking water if you’d like. Molly just finds it easier to explain and have people follow to use fresh water.
xo
Meghann
Team Dirty Girl
Truly, such a valuable webpage
We’re feeling the love! Thank you! 😉
Meghann
Team Dirty Girl
Mmmmmmm…made this last night and put it on buffalo falafel wrap and had it tonight on a big ass salad. SO delicious. I doubted it could taste like ranch but it tastes like a really good ranch. Thank you for your amazing recipes.
Glad you enjoyed it Anne! 🙂
xo
Meghann
Team Dirty Girl
I have always wondered who decided which words were considered “dirty”?? Good lord people get a fking life!!!
Love your site keep on with the dirty??
Becky
Couldn’t agree more Becky! 🙂
xo
Meghann
Team Dirty Girl
I am very offended by the language in this post. I will have to read more of your posts to see if I am offended by the language in each of those also. And I hope not as much detailed pubic hair description. A little bit is OK though. But not in the dressing.
Hi George,
Don’t bother looking through other posts – you won’t like them either.
There are lots of other Whole Food Plant Based blogs out there that won’t offend you.
xo
Molly
True, there are other blogs where they wouldn’t say “sh*t” if they had a mouthful. Also they have about as much fucking sense of humor as the Paleo/ketosis/all-meat Facebook groups (and some of them are bat-sh*t) crazy!
{I do not want to offend your followers by spelling out the S-word.}
Keep those recipes coming – some old farts like me can’t cook worth a damn and need all the help we can get!
What the fucking fuck is with all the weirdos offended by coarse language? This recipe looks awesome, cant wait to try it.
Did you read both of my posts, Dave? It was a fuckin’ joke. Jesus, lighten up folks. Molly, you can delete my posts, block me, and take me off the Facebook group. You people are no God-damn fun at all! And … I didn’t care for the recipe that much.
When I grow up, I want to be just like Molly 🙂
This is super delicious Molly! I’ve been making your Caesar dressing and T-crack every week…now I have another dressing to add to the mix. I don’t know why I waited so long to try it! Yummmmm!! Thank you!
This looks amazing! Quick question. I am learning loads of recipes. Seems like EVERYTHING that is a creamy alternative uses cashews. This is cool except that they can be a little fattening and so EXPENSIVE. Are there cashew alternatives for that creamy punch?
Hi Liz,
Thanks for the love! While cashews are used often for their versatility, white beans are the most common / suitable substitute to give recipes that creamy punch you are looking for. Wishing you the best on your recipe learning journey!
Karen
Team Dirty Girl
Hi Liz and Karen,
In addition to white beans, get this–eggplant, apparently! I am personally thrilled to come across this recipe because I’m not fond of eggplant, but this will actually get me to eat it! CFDG Will always be my number one resource, but this site has got some great info also!
https://minimalistbaker.com/cashew-less-vegan-queso/
Trudi, I’m not sure how I missed this reply, and I stumbled it across it today. Thank you for sharing this alternative. Eggplant?! I would never have guessed this but it is a mild flavor.
~Karen
Your website is the Fucking Shit!
This is my first time here and I love it. I too am a newbie and I can see I’ll love it here. I have no imagination, and can’t even begin to figure out what to eat without getting bored, so thank you to the tenth power!
Hi Lisa!
So glad you found us.
Be sure to check out this post for newbies and join our most awesome private Facebook group.
xo
I added jalapeños! Super yummy!!
Is there a replacement for the date? I don’t have any on hand at the moment!
Hi Sam,
You could sub in a slice or two of fresh apple, a tablespoon or so of unsweetened applesauce, or use maybe a teaspoon or so of maple syrup or other sweetener that you have on hand.
Karen
Team Dirty Girl
Maple syrup it is haha! Thank you!
This is so good I make it almost every week!
So glad you love it!
It’s one of my faves too.
xo
Molly
Can you use dill seed instead?
Go for it and let us know how it turned out!
xo
Molly
Haha…I’m having so much fun reading the comments that I almost forgot why I was here!
I love your blog and your language is right up my alley.
Can’t wait to try the dressing!
Thanks for the entertainment and the awesome recipes!
Ha! So glad we found each other.
XO
Molly
This dressing is the first recipe I’ve tried on your website and it’s amazing! I’ve used it on salads, baked potatoes, and chili so far. Now I can’t wait to try another one of your recipes. Thank You!!
So glad you liked it! It’s one of my favorites as well 🙂
xo
Molly
That was SOOOOO good! Even my non-WFPB fiance loved it and tried it on kale! There is hope. 🙂 I only had dill seed (I saw that mentioned in a post above), so I grounded them and the dressing is just fabulous. It’s my new fave!
Boom! So glad you both loved this recipe!! Thanks for stopping back to share ? ~Karen
You had me at fucking….. Can’t wait to try the recipe!
Hi Tanya! Right on. Let us know what you think once you try the dressing. Feel free to join us over in our private Facebook group too!
Loved, loved this recipe and so did my friends. I added a tsp of nutritional yeast and used fresh dill and it was heavenly! Will be looking for other dressings on your website. Thanks so much for sharing.❤️
Is there any sub for the cashews? Damn nut allergy 🙁
Try sunflower seeds 🙂
xo
Molly
Thanks!
WOW!! This is amazing!! I’m new to the WFPB world and you just blew my mind with this dressing. I’m tempted to drink it.
So good and simple! Had salad with kale, roasted cauli and carrots, homemade croutons, buffalo crispy tofu, and this dressing. Hubby said it was my best salad ever, my 19 year old said it’s his favorite dinner that I make. Thank you!!
Hi, Lori! We are so glad the dressing complemented what sounds like a delicious salad that your family enjoyed! ~ Karen on behalf of Team Dirty
This is seriously delicious! I need to make things from scratch due to a garlic intolerance. You would not believe how many prepared vegan foods have garlic in them! Bonus of making my own (besides leaving out the garlic) is that I avoid all the other junk, like oil and preservatives. So happy to find a dressing I love. Serving this along with Buffalo Tofu “wings”, carrot and celery sticks while we watch the Super Bowl tonight! Thank you!
I don’t feel like it really tastes like ranch but….. I freakin’ LOVE it! Kudos.
This is so delicious I could cry. I’m going to look into your meal planning now. Seriously seriously delicious.
We’re so happy to hear that, Anna!
You can find more information here and when you’re ready, you can sign in and become a member here. Let us know if you have any questions!
Stephanie