By Molly Patrick
Sep 29, 2018,
At one point or another, we all have our bouts of eating bullshit food that belongs nowhere near our face. I’ve been there plenty of times. There are many situations that have the potential of sparking a full blown orgy with fat, sugar and salt. The kind of orgy that you drive way into the desert to attend. There are tents. There are Mexican blankets. There is dust. There might be goggles. You get the idea.
Events leading up to such an orgy with fat, sugar and salt could be:
A stupid stressful week.
A job you hate but for some reason you keep showing up to.
A nasty fight, complete with hurtful words you don’t really mean.
Boredom.
Someone squashing your light, and you allowing your beautiful light to be dimmed.
A super hectic schedule, filled with way too many to-dos to even consider batching.
A trip out of town.
When we initially turn to food that we know DAMN well isn’t healthy for us, it’s usually because we’re craving distraction and extermination of our pain and upset. Our loneliness. Our boredom. Our frustration. Our fear. Our insecurities. We feel the need for a hit of something that makes us feel good in the hopes that our negative feelings will disappear. Chocolate, cookies, potato chips, cheese, ice cream – any of these will do the job and give us a burst of instant gratification, making us momentarily forget about our problem du jour.
This is slippery though, because the foods that give us an instant hit of feel good are also the foods that are highly addictive. Let’s work this out. Say you dive into a bag of cheese puffs because you’re in the middle of a hot flash, your boss is acting like a misogynistic douche, and your asshole kid is being impossible. Eventually your hot flash ends, maybe you decide to quit your job and your kid apologizes to you, yet your cravings for cheese puffs linger. This is because their soothing effects are now looped in your brain and your brain wants more, whether you’re having a frustrating moment or not.
The next time you have that impulse, that aching, that urge to drive to the desert and join the salt, sugar and fat orgy, stop and think it through. You might be having a super hard moment right now, but even really, really, really hard moments that feel impossible, they pass.
Can you ride the wave?
Can you feel what you’re feeling without trying to make it go away?
Can you simply observe how you’re feeling without reacting?
Can you honor yourself by allowing the uncomfortable feeling to come full circle without cutting it short?
Can you be okay with not being okay for a span of time?
The next time stress, anger, fear and frustration come up and your knee-jerk reaction is to eat some bullshit food, stop whatever you’re doing and just pause. Close your eyes and imagine that you’re walking on a beautiful trail. Pretty soon, you can’t go forward any further because there is a huge drop off in front of you. The path continues to the left and to the right, and it is your job to choose which path to take.
You stop and ponder. There is a sign in the shape of an arrow pointing left and one pointing right. The path going left looks like an easy downhill path that takes a slippery turn towards the bottom. The path going right looks to be slightly uphill with a beautiful vista after the incline.
The sign pointing to the left says:
Choose me if you want to feel really good for about three minutes.
Warning: You will feel worse than you feel right now after those three minutes are up.
The sign pointing to the right says:
Choose me if you want to feel good the majority of the time.
Warning: You will feel uncomfortable for a short period of time, but it will pass.
The Buddhist nun and writer, Pema Chodron says:
“If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path.”
So tell me my dear, which path will you choose? There is no wrong or right answer to this. One just makes you feel better overall than the other. You might choose to go left today and right tomorrow. You might think about going right for three weeks before you actually venture up that path. You might be ready to turn right this VERY moment.
Just keep in mind that you do have a choice and you are responsible for not only making that choice, but everything that comes as a result of that choice.
Sometimes stopping and thinking it through before you act is enough to help you see the bigger picture and motivate you to make a choice that will nurture your future self. Talk to me in the comments below and tell me about the path that you’ve been on lately.
And then turn right and make this Garlic Tahini Dressing dressing to slather on a huge, vibrant Dirty salad. This dressing is similar to the original and has only been in meal plans until now. Roasted tahini is less bitter than raw tahini. I always use roasted. This dressing is sometimes called “Tahini Crack 2.0” or “T Crack 2.0” in our private Facebook group.
Ingredients
- ¾ cup water
- ⅔ cup tahini (165g)
- 2 tablespoons coconut aminos
- 1 tablespoon brown rice vinegar
- 1 small garlic clove, peeled and left whole
- ½ teaspoon salt
Instructions
- Place all of the ingredients into your blender and blend until creamy and smooth.
- Store in the fridge.
Notes
Wishing you a happy week. May it be filled with pausing before you act.
Xo
Molly
37 Comments
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Excellent Fuckery, but wanted to send a note about the attached email and thank you note from Kirstie. I AM BAWLING! Literally, sitting here in my little apartment on my Paris adventure, and bawling like a baby! Molly, it is so beautiful to see the outpouring of love for your sister and in turn, the love we Dirties have for you. May we all encourage each other and love each other on a daily basis.
You got that, my friend.
Thank you for your sweet note. Now go eat a baguette for me!
xo
Molly
Last night I had Oreos. I knew the sugar would make me feel sick after awhile. I realize I have a horrible pattern of self abuse. I’m trying to learn how to push thru the times I feel like giving up. My brain knows what to do and what I should be eating…but that fat girl voice in my head is kicking and screaming. The more I tell her no, the more it will get easier. I know this…I’ve done it before.
You got the Theresa.
It starts with awareness.
Be easy on yourself, my dear.
xo
Molly
I’ve been turning left and then right and then left again so many times I’m dizzy! I’ve even reached the beautiful summit as well as that hurtling down hill slipping and sliding and bruising my knee while skinning my hide muddy slope. Luckily, I’ve been able to reach for a branch and hurdle my way back up to the choice at least where I can spend a moment to choose. Wish me The courage, strength and wisdom to choose wisely MOST times. Love this post. It’s timely for me. Thank you!!
I understand, Katrina – you aren’t alone, my dear.
It’s all about the choices you make the majority of the time.
Sending love.
xo
Molly
Wow…feeling blessed to be part of this community. Hugs to Kristie and to you Molly.
Question about the T Crack recipe. Is tahini actually raw sesame seeds or is this tahini sauce?
Thanks
Joanne
Thank you Joanne, much appreciated.
Tahini is a paste made from ground sesame seeds. Kind of like almond butter or peanut butter, but with sesame seeds.
Sesame butter would be a more straightforward name for it. Ha!
xo
Molly
Wow…feeling blessed to be part of this community. Hugs to Kristie and to you Molly.
Question about the T Crack recipe. Is tahini actually raw sesame seeds or is this tahini sauce?
Thanks
Joanne
Do you add oil when making the tahini?
I love your sister love. Your both already winning the battle!
Thank you so much, Nancy.
xo
Molly
What brand of tahini do you use? I’ve been struggling to find one that I like.
Thank you!
Hi Tina,
If you have a Whole Foods near you, I really enjoy the 365 brand of tahini.
Otherwise, you can find really good ones at middle eastern markets.
Try roasted tahini as it is less bitter.
xo
Molly
Thanks Molly for sharing the update about Kirstie. We are rooting for her and I believe in miracles. Anything is Possible.
Question reg the dressing: what makes it taste roasted since the instructions don’t indicate that or maybe I’m not reading it right 😉
Plus you’re such a good sister to Kirstie and I bow to that.
Thank you for the sweet note.
You can buy tahini that is made with roasted sesame seeds, making the tahini less bitter.
You won’t be doing any of the roasting 🙂
Does this make sense?
Yes, it makes sense. Thanks Molly.
Do you add oil when making the tahini?
This fuckery hit my spot in more ways than one. First because I’ve been feeling sorry for poor me who doesn’t get to eat fish and eggs and cheese anymore (please hear the sarcasm) and feeling tempted to veer off left. Second because I’ve been coaching an incarcerated young woman who is about to get out of jail, and we’ve been talking about CHOICES. When I read the fuckery, I thought Oh this would be great to give to ***! and next thought was And…how about yerself my dear? Haha!
I love it, thank you for sharing Shelley.
It’s always so easy to see and give good advice to other people and to miss the boat on giving it to ourselves.
Yup, share the message with yourself first and then the world.
Best of luck to the woman who is about to get out of jail, I’m rooting her on.
xo
Molly
Molly you always seem to say the right things at the right time. I committed to this way of eating in May but over the last few weeks I’ve been depressed and became a junk food junkie. Time to take the turn.
Thank you!!
Whooot! You can turn right TODAY!
Good for you for allowing this message to make a positive impact.
You go this and I am cheering you on!
xo
Molly
Thanks for this post. I have been largely avoiding bullshit foods for over two years now and am just (hopefully) coming off a ROUGH 2 days of either food poisoning or stomach flu (and yes, I did eat a restaurant SALAD before kicking off said bout of intestinal decline into the depths of hell. My appetite is beginning to gain some interest in foods again and all I can think about is macaroni and cheese, Cheetos, and Cheerios. They all sound super appealing to me, along with ice cream and a whole host of other crappy crap foods. I’m hoping to be able to talk myself off the processed food ledge, but man oh man. Sometimes you have to wonder why your body is craving things it hasn’t had in good long while. I guess they’re not called comfort foods for nothing.
2.0 for the win! I never tried the original version because I was a little leery of it being too sweet with the dates, but I made this just now and it’s great! Inspired me to make and eat a big ass green salad, which is something I need a little push towards! Feeling full of plant-based goodness, no oil needed, yeah!
Love your site. Made your T crack dressing. It was so watery. Followed recipe ex@ctly. Added more tahini which threw the taste off. Any suggestions? M
Hi Mary Ann,
The consistency depends on what kind of tahini you use.
Some tahini is super thick and some is really thin.
My tahini was somewhere between thick and thin when I made this recipe.
It will thicken as it sets in the fridge so take a look tomorrow and let me know if it thickened up.
xo
Molly
Too watery. Added more tahini to thicken, but that threw off the taste. Any suggestions, or is this What the consistency is supposed to be like? Thank you.
Hi again Mary Ann,
I responded to your other comment but I’ll add my response here too.
The consistency depends on what kind of tahini you use.
Some tahini is super thick and some is really thin.
My tahini was somewhere between thick and thin when I made this recipe.
It will thicken as it sets in the fridge so take a look tomorrow and let me know if it thickened up.
xo
Molly
Sure did. And it was still pretty tasty on our salads.
Just joined the fun with the meal plans. I am slowly reading through the blog. This one and the fuck skinny made me pause.
I habe be left and right a lot for about 2 weeks I have been on the right path because of sickness. I just want plant based foods. But I also recognize that when I go left it is because of an ingrained automatic response to a cycle starting or a scale reading. Now most people would probably only cheat if they had a bad reading. Meh, I already screwed up what’s some more going to hurt. Or it sets them on the right path because they don’t want it to go higher. A good reading will give them the satisfaction that they are doing great. We’ll for me I actually allow both types of readings to derail me. If it’s good, I will cheat to put weight back on because I have a hard time feeling worthy of it. If it’s bad, I will do the well I already fucked up part. It will send me down a spiral for weeks until I get motivated to be on the right path. The other thing that will set me off is people complimenting my efforts. I go through a weird cocky about it stage and not notice what I am putting in my mouth or if I am in a spiral and the say something it will send me even deeper. Definitely trying to work on it all. I am definitely going to make the fuck skinny a priority. I need to love every bit every day.
Your blog is amazing and so are the meal plans.
Making T Crack 2.0 tomorrow
Hi Betsy, Welcome to the Meal Plans! Simply recognizing your triggers as you are is a huge step to help you stop reinforcing those behaviors that don’t serve you and move towards ones that do. Here’s another great one from Molly to check out. Thanks for taking time to share. ~Karen
Ok…I’m at a local vegan restaurant and I got a Tahini Kale Salad. My husband liked their dressing, but despite my adoration of T-Crack, he doesn’t like it. Is the difference just that theirs is roasted tahini versus raw? I want to make tahini dressing he likes. 🙁
Hi Jen! For sure, tahini flavor varies and can be bitter. For the Clean Food Dirty Girl meal plans, we recommend tahini that uses roasted sesame seeds because roasted seeds produce tahini with reduced bitterness. Some favorite brands in our community are Soom, Whole Foods 365, and Trader Joe’s. Let us know if you try a different brand and it makes a difference for your husband! ~Karen
Just made this dressing and added a handful of fresh cilantro, half a peeled lime and one green onion. So yummy!!
Those sound like great additions to the recipe! Thanks for sharing, Sue! ~Karen
Love this post! Will bookmark and reread in times of desperation!
Awesome, Vikki! So glad it helps!
“There might be goggles.” I could not love that line more. I’m going to use that line for all things for the rest of my life. Thank you.