January 30, 2021 by Molly Patrick

Sometimes I Have A Screaming 5-year-old In My Head

At one point or another on this human journey, we come to the sobering realization that as adults, we must parent ourselves. Regardless of our past or present parental situation, once we reach adulthood, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Sometimes that’s hard because we get stuck in confusion and we just want someone to tell us how to fix things, how to feel better, what to do, what our problem is, tell us the answer we want to hear, tell us that everything will be okay.

If you’ve ever had these thoughts, congratulations, you are a human having human thoughts!

From my experience being human, I know at least two things.

One: Not everything in life will be okay, and we have to find a way to be okay with that.

Two: we have all the answers we need. We just need to get quiet enough to hear them.

Most of us don’t like to get quiet enough to hear the answers because that means we have to feel. And feelings can be overwhelming, annoying, and unpleasant.

So we get on our phone. We call someone. We text someone. We go on Instagram. We eat. Again. We turn on the TV. We scroll the news. We scroll Facebook. We listen to a podcast. We drink. We shop. We go online and get lost in the depths of YouTube. We eat all the ice cream.

We do anything that takes the focus off from us and redirects it somewhere outside of us.

We think we’re clever because as long as we keep reaching for something, we don’t have to deal with our shit and feel our uncomfortable human emotions. But we’re not really that clever because, when we’re constantly reaching for stuff to distract, we can’t get quiet enough to be a damn effective parent to ourselves.

So how do you get quiet? The only way I know is to sit down without reaching for something until the five-year-old voice in my head gets quiet enough for me to hear the wise, steady, calm voice in my head.

Here’s what this looks like for me.

I find a quiet place to sit, turn off all electronics, and make myself unavailable to anyone else for 10–15 minutes. And then, I just sit there without doing anything and see what comes up.

I make a mental note of what I'm feeling, and if it’s something I want to explore later, I write it down on a piece of paper. I keep sitting there, pushing away the desire to reach for something, and feel everything that bubbles up to the surface. Then I go into meditation for as long as I choose.

From that place of calm and quiet, my five-year-old voice finally settles down, and I can hear the wise, steady, calm voice giving me answers, giving me direction, bringing me out of confusion, giving me love, guiding me, and telling me that I will be okay, even when things are not okay.

The next time you don't know what to do, get quiet, and then follow your lead. You are more powerful and capable than you know, and you have the answers.

Today over on the blog, I’m talking with Cathena Campbell about being a single mom of two, working full time, and batching our meal plans. She is damn inspiring. We’re also giving you a whole food plant based maple pecan dip recipe that is on point.

Molly

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