November 20, 2021 by Molly Patrick
Beating yourself up isn't helping
Beating yourself up is not helping.
Yet that’s the first place most of us go when we do something that works against the results we want. It’s a tempting place to hang out because it feels productive. For most of us, we were conditioned early that when we did something “bad,” we could expect to be scolded in order to do “better.”
And the seed was planted:
“bad” ------> scolded ------> “better”
The only thing is, this doesn’t work.
Check it out. When you beat yourself up with your thoughts, how do you feel?
Guilty? Maybe ashamed? Angry?
What actions do you take when you feel guilty, ashamed, or angry?
None that are helping you kick ass, I can tell you that.
Actions that help you kick ass in life are fueled by determination, compassion, love, acceptance, and curiosity, to name a few.
We think beating ourselves up will somehow keep us in check so we don’t completely fall off the rails and succumb to ALL the things we fear most.
But what if the opposite were true?
What if by giving yourself love, compassion, and acceptance at every turn, you make it easier to create the life you want?
Here’s the thing: when you do something that works against the results you want, that doesn’t make you “bad.” It makes you human. I mean, you can beat yourself up for being human, but what’s the point? That’s like the sun being pissed off that it sets every night.
It might feel strange and scary to give yourself love where there has only been judgment and ridicule. It might feel overwhelming to give yourself some grace. It might feel unproductive to fiercely accept yourself. But is there room to try?
You can always go back to beating yourself up. The question is: how has that been working for you? And are you ready to try something new? If you're ready to try something new, join me for Office Hours. All of our Meal Plan subscribers get access.
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Written by ex-boozer and ex-smoker, Molly Patrick that will help you eat more plants while throwing perfection down the garbage disposal.
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