159: Transform Your Relationship With Exercise and Batching (And Stop Dreading the Gym and the Kitchen)

In this solo episode, I share about my upcoming summer in France 🇫🇷 while being rudely interrupted by my cat, Sweet Pea! 😂

Then, I dive into something that has completely shifted the way I approach healthy habits: my relationship with the process itself.

For years, I told myself the story that I hated working out. I exercised because I knew it was good for me, but I complained about it constantly and approached it with resistance and dread. Recently, I realized that my mindset about exercise, not the workouts themselves, was what was making the experience feel so difficult.

This episode is all about how our thoughts shape our emotional experience and why learning to enjoy (yes, it’s possible!) the process of healthy habits is the key to making them sustainable.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why your thoughts about the process matter more than the habit itself
• How reframing your relationship with exercise can change your results
• The power of enjoying the journey instead of obsessing over outcomes
• My personal story of going from dreading workouts to actually loving them
• Why self-compassion and kindness are essential for sustainable change
• How shifting your mindset can completely change your emotional experience around a habit

Helpful links:

• Drop It Club – Our plant-powered weight loss program
• Blog posts: Part One and Part Two of my France adventure from 2023 
• Book: Loving What Is by Byron Katie
• Get my Love Letters
• Our website
• Follow us on Instagram

Transcript, auto-generated, may have errors

Hey there, this is Molly, and thank you for listening to this episode of the Clean Food Dirty Girl podcast.

[Clap sounds]

Okay. So the podcasting software that we use just added some sound effects that makes it really easy for me to add them in as I’m recording. So I just wanted to try it out and see. What

Okay, it’s fun. I’m it it may it might be annoying to you, so I’m gonna stop now, but that’s super fun. Okay, so I’m doing another solo episode, and I wanted to just update just give you a quick update about what I’m up to and tell you that I will be spending the next two and a half months in France. Woohoo! Wait, hold hold on, wait for it. Yeah.

That’s right. So I am leaving the last day in May, and I will be coming back to Maui in mid-August. And so things will remain as usual as when I’m there. It’s just I will just be working from a different time zone, basically. So we will still have podcasts for you and love letters, and of course, Meal Plan Club is going strong and Drop It Club.

So all of that stuff remains the same. I’ll just be working from the opposite side of the globe than I usually do. So I’m really excited to go there and to visit. And I’m gonna be spending most of my time in Paris. And then I’ll be traveling to the region of Brittany and then and spending some time traveling around checking it out. And then I’ll be going to the Netherlands to spend time with my family.

So really, really excited for the trip and really looking forward to being in Europe and for spending a good amount of time there. So, and also eating vegan croissant. What? Yes, I can’t wait. I’m also going to I have reservations for a three star ⁓ Michelin vegan restaurant, which I’m really excited about. I’ve never been there and ⁓

So that’s great. And just so many, there’s so many great vegan places to eat in Paris. And a lot of new ones have opened since the last time I was there. A lot of ones that I really love are still open. So I’m gonna have a great time eating and just enjoying also enjoying all the markets and all the summer produce and and cooking with all the summer produce. I am stoked for that. And so be sure to follow me on Instagram. It’s ⁓ at

Clean Food Dirty Girl, and I’ll be making updates there. And of course, in my love letters as well, my Saturday emails that I send out. ⁓ if you don’t sign if you haven’t signed up for those yet, what are you waiting for? They’re great. I send them every Saturday and I talk about eating more plants. I talk about life stuff, I talk a lot about imperfection, I talk about just a range of things. They’re usually helpful. Sometimes they’re not. And those ones you can just delete. ⁓ but if you want to sign up,

We’ll give put the link to those in the show notes so you can do that as well. Okay, so what I want to talk about today, Sweet P, seriously. Every time. Every time. Good grief. I mean, so many of you know this already, because a lot of you are in the clean food dirty girl world. If you’re new here, then hello, and here’s a big dirty welcome. So my cat, Sweet P hardly ever comes to my office.

Hardly ever. Except when I am recording something or when I’m on a call or if I’m on a coaching call or if I’m doing a podcast or I’m on an interview. She will insist on coming into my office and she will scratch the door and ⁓ just make her way in and and she just keeps at the door until it either opens or until I open it. So I she likes my voice, I guess. I don’t know, but anyways.

She’s here. You can’t see her, but she’s here. All right. So what I want to talk with you about today is kind of the relationship you have with the process of doing the healthy things. So when we think about lifestyle and sort of ⁓

For lack of a better word, cleaning up our lifestyle or making improvements to our lifestyle. Whether that be, you know, drinking less or quitting drinking or eating healthier or exercising or working on communication or meditation or like whatever it is, all of the things, you know, all the ways, there’s many ways that we can do self-improvement. And the thing that I have found.

Is what’s really really important about this is the relationship you have with that thing. And the relationship that we have with something or someone basically comes down to the thoughts we have about it and the thoughts we have about ourself in relation to that. And so if you look at the thoughts you’re having about, let’s say, eating healthy.

or eating plant based or batch cooking or exercise or the thoughts you have about yourself in relation to that, I’m gonna get a pretty good idea about like how you think about that and your energy going into that and your relationship that you have with that. And there’s certain things, right, that just aren’t helpful.

⁓ if you if you have a horrible relationship with exercise and you’re trying to exercise, meaning if you have a horrible, if you have horrible thoughts about exercise and you’re trying to exercise, it is going to be harder for you to exercise. And you aren’t going to get the results that you could get if you had a healthy relationship with it, meaning you had healthy thoughts about it. And so I wanted to give you an example of this.

from my own life because I think it kind of takes an an abstract thing and makes it a little bit more ⁓ relatable so that you can then if you like the sounds of it sort of apply it to your life try it on for size and see you know see see how it helps you and so for many many years long long long time I have always really really disliked exercising.

And really disliked going to workout class, really disliked lifting weights, really, really disliked cardio, really disliked all of it. Now I’ve always done it because I know that it’s good for me, but I’ve always had a pretty bad attitude about it. And I’ve always really complained a lot about it. And I never enjoyed the process. So

I didn’t really enjoy doing it. And I also wasn’t enjoying thinking about it or leading up to it. Or after I mean, after I was done, it w it always felt good. But I I really I realized that I had a really bad attitude about working out. And this was something that like I think I was just thinking about this for so long and thinking about it in this way for so long. I just sort of like adopted it as

This is my mindset about exercise. This is who I am. I’m someone who doesn’t like to work out, but I do it anyways. And I didn’t really question that. And the thing that actually made me question this is I is my work in Drop It. Drop It Club is our plant-powered weight loss program that opens up a few times a year. And enrollment will be open again in July. For anybody who’s interested, it’s an amazing program. But I talk a lot of in that program.

About enjoying the process of releasing weight. Enjoying the process and really leaning into the process and being mindful and aware about the relationship you have with the process and with the outcome and how you’re showing up. And all that is to say, check your thoughts about it. And

I talk to our droplets about this all the time because people will come to me in coaching and they’ll be just so defeated and they’re like, ugh, I don’t know why I’m doing this. This is this is going too slow. I don’t know if I can. I snacked yesterday and I ate the cookies and this is just horrible. And I, you know, they they come to it in such a way that’s such a downer. And so their relationship to the process, they’re not enjoying the process at all. It’s like they want the outcome.

But they’re not willing to enjoy the process or get cu or it maybe enjoy would be a big step, but just even like get curious about the process or so I really want to teach people like and connect the dots for them about how your attitude and how your relationship with the process can really make the outcome easier and also have the have the ⁓

you know, the journey getting there can be much more enjoyable if you have a better relationship to it. And those would be your thoughts about it. And so really like getting out of victim mode and getting out of shame mode and getting out of the perfectionist mode and all of those things that we can get really like addicted to feeling and break free of those and choose to have different thoughts about the actual process and about about

each person and how they are approaching this and the relationship to the that they have ultimately with the outcome that they’re getting. And so I talk about that a lot in that in in in that program and I and I tell people like the result, you’re gonna get the result. If you keep doing this, you’re gonna get to the result. But what’s more important is that you enjoy the journey getting there because that’s when it becomes really sustainable.

If you hate the journey getting there, then when you get there, it’s far more likely that you’re gonna be like, okay, well, I did this, now I’m gonna like go back to whatever I was doing before. And so kind of falling in love with the process is like the work. And that is gonna lead to, you know, fantastic results that stick around for the rest of your life. And so

I was thinking about all this and then I would and then it just hit me like wow, the relationship I have and the the process of working out for me, like I don’t have a good relationship with working out because I’m having terrible thoughts about it. I think, you know, I don’t ever really I never really thought it was a waste of time, but I just told this story about hating it so much and really, really disliking it so much.

And I even did a podcast episode about this. And I’ve talked about it in love letters. And I really had just sort of said that because I was used to saying that. But what I realized and what I kind of like, once I realized that I was doing that, and I was like, huh, okay, I am not leaning into this process. Like I am showing up and I am getting results, but like it’s

I’m not enjoying myself. And if I’m gonna do this, shouldn’t I be enjoying myself? And if I’m enjoying myself, might I get better results? Might I might there actually be better mind-body connection? Could it be that if I was thinking about this in a really positive, empowered way, that just even my thinking about it and my relationship with it would.

change the results I’m getting. And so I really took good look at that. And I really took a look at how I was thinking about this and my relationship with working out. And what I ultimately came to was that it wasn’t adding up anymore. Because really, at the end of the day, the reason why I want to work out, because I do, I want to work out,

Nobody is making me. I ultimately want to work out because I want to protect myself as I age. I want to stay as limber and as flexible and as strong and as mobile and as balanced as I possibly can as I get older. And that’s for me, that’s a gift.

That is a gift that I’m giving to myself every time I work out. That is a gift that I’m giving to myself now and to my future self. And what I realized is I don’t want to hate a gift. Why would I dislike or talk shit about a gift?

It just there was like a disconnect that I finally saw. And so I was like, huh, okay, I gotta like I have some work to do. That story of me hating working out and having it be a pain in my ass and having it be something that I don’t like, that is no longer serving me. I don’t know that it ever served me, really. but it

Definitely isn’t is not serving me. And so that is a story. Those are thoughts. That is a relationship that I want to change. I want to change the relationship I have with working out. Therefore, I need to change my thoughts about working out. Therefore, the thoughts of, ugh, I don’t want to do this. Ugh, it’s such a pain in the ass. Ugh, it’s so hard. Like all of those have to go. All of those have to go. And what I ushered in.

was just this little thought that I had, this is a gift. And I’m not gonna hate a gift. Because if I’m gonna hate a gift, like why do it? Why do it if I’m just gonna hate this? And I really had to check myself. And so since then, since I started to really clean up my relationship with working out, lean into the process of it, not just think totally about the outcome, but

How this can benefit me now, and how it can benefit me even when I’m not actively working out, how much more energy I have, and how much better I sleep, and how working out really, really helps me eat healthier, and how eating healthier really helps me work out, and how this is part of my life, and this is part of my lifestyle. And and actually.

Actually, I like working out. Actually, if I have a trainer who I really like and I am doing this with friends, and I’m able to, you know, improve and not take myself super seriously and laugh at myself when I, you know, look ridiculous, like it is something that I genuinely do enjoy.

And so my whole outlook on exercise has changed and I’m now really, really enjoying it. And the funny thing is, the funny thing is, is that ⁓ I’ve also been doing I’ve also been following phase three from Drop It. And for all of the droplets who have been in Drop It or who are currently in Drop It, you know all about phase three. ⁓ I’ve

Currently been in phase three going on three weeks now, just because I really wanted to increase in a really big way my fruit and veggie consumption. That was like my main motivation for doing it. And I also was eating way too much chocolate. So I wanted to like check myself on that. And in the past two weeks, something really weird happened. So I haven’t been able to do full body push-ups.

Like since I I think maybe at one point in my twenties, I could probably do some. I went through a pretty gym rat period in my 20s. I’m pretty sure I could do some push-ups then. But since then, I have not been able to do push-ups full body. I’ve been able to do them on my knees, right? But not like in a plank position. And a couple weeks ago.

I and I I do I’ve been doing push-ups every day. I have my like weight training classes, but then I I do my little like at home stretching and workout and stuff that I do daily. So I was getting ready to do my push-ups on my knees, and all of a sudden I heard myself tell myself, you can do regular push-ups. You don’t need to do them on your knees. You can do regular ones. And and at that moment I was like, Yeah, I totally can.

Like I totally can. And I believed it and I did it. And I I tried and I completely did it. I did four. I’m up to eight now. But they were like perfect. ⁓ like my they were like the form is really, really good. I can feel the form was like perfect. And all of a sudden I could do push-ups. I’m like, huh, I wonder if I would have started embracing.

working out and and having a positive attitude about it. Like how much improvement I could have made over all these years instead of just fighting it and like hating it. And I, you know, I don’t want to dwell on that. It is what it is. And like we grow, we learn, we we do better once we realize kind of if what we’re doing isn’t isn’t serving us, then we can make changes. But it’s just been crazy.

Like and it’s not just the push-ups either. Like I’ve been lifting a lot heavier, I’ve been doing more reps, I’ve been jumping higher, like you know, I’ve just I’ve upped my game and I haven’t and the funny thing is like I haven’t tried to do that stuff. It’s just kind of a natural extension and just sort of like it’s it that’s just sort of happening. Like in the moment I feel like no, I can I can go heavier or I can go higher or I can do more.

And in that moment, I really want to, not because I’m trying to achieve a certain result, but because I’m enjoying the process, because I have a good relationship with working out. And I am, I have a good relationship in with myself in terms of working out and my body and my strength and my fitness. And so it’s really helped. And I think what’s interesting is I’ve I’ve

You know, I am a coach. I’ve told I’ve told people this and h helped coach people on this for years, you know, like if you’re coming to something with a bad attitude, like that is gonna make it harder for you. You know, that is only going to work against you. And you have the option to have it easier. You have the option to make it easier on yourself. And here I was, I never even thought about me in in relation to working out. And

⁓ but I did. I got there and you know it dawned on me and it has really helped improve ⁓ improve my overall fitness and how I’m feeling. And my God, I along with phase three and with the workouts that I’m doing, and it’s nothing crazy, like I walk every day for 30 minutes, I do three ⁓ like weight training classes a week, and then I do like

I hold a plank for a minute. I do as many push-ups as I can. I do some squats. ⁓ I do some abs, like this little at-home routine. I do that every day. So it’s nothing like crazy cardio or like running or ⁓ none of that like CrossFit stuff that I I I just my body is not feeling that. I want gentle, I want strong.

I want it to feel good. I don’t want to be in pain. I don’t want to suffer. Like I want it to feel good. And so that has been really awesome. So between my workout and phase three, okay, I’ve been waking up at like 520 every morning and just like so much energy, feeling so good, so clear-headed. ⁓ and I’ve just been, yeah, energy is through the roof, feeling really.

just feeling really, really good. My digestion is amazing. ⁓ yeah, everything just working very well and feeling really good. So that is what I wanted to share. And I think, you know, for you, you can ask yourself and how to apply this to you would be like, even let’s just take batch cooking, for example. You know, there are people who batch cook because they think they should or they think they have to, even though it’s a big pain in the ass and it

It takes up so much time and they’d rather be doing other things. And so I would say if you’re coming at it with those thoughts, you don’t have a very good relationship with batch cooking, right? And to improve that relationship with batch cooking would be to change your thoughts about it. And I promise you, once you change your thoughts about it and you start thinking about it differently in a more positive, uplifting, empowering way, you are going to start enjoying the process.

process of doing that much, much more. And yes, you’re gonna enjoy the outcome for sure. We all enjoy the outcome of batch cooking, but you can also enjoy the process of actually doing it if you change the relationship you have with it. So the relationship that I have with batch cooking is awesome because I have nothing but sweet, kind, lovely words about it. And I, the way I think about it is I’m so lucky to do it.

This is my happy place. I I love all of the colors and all the ⁓ you know the the smells and I love all the textures and I love you know spending that time in my kitchen. It’s like self-care and it’s a priority for me and I get to do it. I don’t have to do it, like all of those thoughts about batch cooking, and that creates a very healthy relationship with it, and that allows me to enjoy it and that allows me to actually do it. And so

Yeah, because if we don’t like the process of something, we really have to try. We really have to like dig in and find that motivation, find that willpower, ⁓ you know, find that determination and that grit to do it. But when we actually like something, we don’t rely on willpower or motivation to do it. We show up because we enjoy it and it’s a nice experience. And so it makes it so much easier.

So, and it was it was funny to me that I hadn’t really pieced that together with how I was thinking about working out and and how much has changed since I’ve kind of looked at that and made this conscious decision to think another way, to have a different relationship with it. And ultimately, that is changing who I am. It’s changing my muscles. It’s changing how strong I am.

You know, ⁓ it’s changing how much energy I have. And so it’s so important to look at the thoughts that you’re having about something. Cause so many people think, and I’m just gonna say this one last thing, and I talk about this in Drop It Club all the time, but so many people think that it’s the circumstances that we have no control over that creates how we feel. Some people might think, well, working out makes me mad. Working out

makes me pissed off. Working out makes me feel resentful or fill in the blank. But it’s always going to be the thoughts you’re having about the thing. It’s never the thing itself that creates the feeling or emotion. It’s always the thoughts we’re having about it that creates the feeling or the emotion. And so and I mean this is the perfect example. The workout for me hasn’t changed.

My thoughts about the workout has changed, leading me to a very different emotional experience about the workout. And so it’s the same thing with everything, right? It’s not the plant-based diet or the batch cooking or your partner or the weather that’s pissing you off. It’s the thoughts you’re having about that. And if you’re in Drop It or if you have been in Drop Dropit in the past, you know all about this because I

talk about this all the time and I really empower people and teach people how to kind of use this thinking to benefit them, to, you know, not only get the results that they want, but to lean into the process and to enjoy the process and to have a good relationship with the process and to really be an example of how it can be how this can be very empowering and lovely and how self-care and ⁓

you know, having a healthy lifestyle can be such a rewarding treat rather than something like you have to grin and bear, you know. So we each of us have the power to make the experience whatever we want to make it. So like I could have very easily been like, yeah, okay, I see that I’m cre I’m making this work out harder for myself, but I don’t care. I kind of

You know, I’m committed to it and I want to keep thinking that I hate it. Like I th that would have been an option for me. But like, why? Why make it harder than it has to be? So that is my story. That is my update. I wanted to share that with you. If you found this helpful in any way, leave a comment and let me know. And also if you enjoy this podcast, I would love a review that helps other people find us and check out the work that we’re doing. So I really appreciate that.

I hope that you have a really good rest of the day, and I think probably the next time you’ll hear from me, I will be in Paris or somewhere in France or somewhere in Holland. ⁓ Either way, I’ll talk to you soon. Have a wonderful rest of your day and go eat some plants and move that beautiful body. Au revoir!