October 15, 2022 by Molly Patrick

When change knocks you upside the head

Hi love,

Change. It’s constant, and it can be really hard.
Even when we want the changes in our lives, it can be challenging.
When we don’t want them, it can feel like a fresh slice of hell, washed down with a side of gut punch. Yikes.

And there’s no getting around it, right?

As we human, we are constantly changing, and other humans around us are constantly changing, too. Like Melissa Etheridge sang in one of her most heart-wrenchingly beautiful (and accurate) breakup songs, “the only thing that stays the same is change." Nail. On. Head.

And this can suck so much because humans like consistency, routine, and predictability. It makes us feel safe.

The desire for consistency is wired into our nervous system as a safety mechanism from back in the day when saber-toothed tigers were a threat, and venturing too far out of one’s cave could quite literally mean death.

Whatever changes you're going through right now, whether that’s changing how you eat on a daily basis, settling into a home with fewer people in it than there used to be, or having your world spin every which way by an unexpected and / or unwanted announcement, I see you. I am you.

I know you’re having some big feelings right now. You might feel like you’ve been slapped in the face by a concrete wall directly after you were swarmed with hornets stinging your entire body whilst being punched in the stomach with an oddly shaped metal fist. With spikes on it. It might feel like that is all I’m saying. And if it does, I am sending you 1,568 hugs. Because…ouch.

When we’re in the midst of discomfort, whether it’s mild or a total fuck show, it can be hard to know what to do next. So we kind of spin in a ridiculous circle, not really going anywhere. But also not not going anywhere either.

If you should find yourself in such a predicament, try this:

Take a few slow, deep breaths and focus on those breaths. 
This will help you get out of flight or fight.

Remind yourself you don’t have to figure it all out right now. 
This will help take the stress and anxiety down a notch.

Have the next thing you do be something that nourishes you.
Drink a glass of water. Eat a piece of fruit. Go outside and move your body for five minutes.
This will help by sending a supportive message to yourself; even though it’s hard right now, you have your back.

Mourn the loss of what used to be.
You might want or not want things to change. Either way, acknowledge how it was and allow yourself to have big feelings about that.
This will help you process your emotions so you can be present for this next chapter instead of clinging to how it used to be..

Remind yourself that you are fierce, strong, competent, and 100% worthy, and you will get through this. 
This will help you find your resilience.

Be open to the change.
You never know what’s on the other side. It might be better than you could possibly imagine.
This will help keep you open when the tendency is to close.

Whatever you’re feeling right now, you aren’t alone.

You will get through this.

So much love headed your way.


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Written by ex-boozer and ex-smoker, Molly Patrick that will help you eat more plants while throwing perfection down the garbage disposal.


Not for those offended by the F word.