June 24, 2023 by Molly Patrick

I actually typed this into Google

Do you ever feel like everyone else has their shit figured out while you’re flopping around on the kitchen floor like an adorable 3-legged kitten who just ate an entire human-sized birthday cake?

I see humans moving about the world. And I often wonder, “Has that person ever typed ‘Can you love yourself and get Botox?’ into Google?” Because I definitely have.

I definitely got Botox and then ASKED GOOGLE IF I STILL LOVE MYSELF.

Life can be tricky to navigate and finagle all the pieces to fit together, so it makes sense there would be some sort of instruction pamphlet or brochure. The $89 chair I bought at Office Max had instructions. They weren’t great, but they got the job done.

Life? No instructions. We’re just tossed in and expected to figure it out. And we don’t even know WHO’S EXPECTING US TO FIGURE IT OUT. We just know we should probably pay our taxes, eat something green, and remember to put on pants before leaving the house.

There are days I feel pretty okay. And then there are days when it takes me 6.5 hours to swallow my vitamins because, after 42 years, I’m still convinced my throat isn’t big enough not to choke on them.

I don’t know.

But I’m pretty sure we’re all doing the best we can. Sometimes our best looks like making overnight oats and taking out the trash, and other times it looks like being frozen with panic when we realize that life really does boil down to the periodic table. I mean, where does one go from there?

The next time you’re having a hard day and feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, remember this: you are not, I repeat, are not, alone. We all struggle, and none of us have our shit totally figured out. We’re all that 3-legged kitten way damn more than we would like to admit.

I might not have a pamphlet on how to do life, but I can help you make overnight oats. Make these tonight and then eat them in the morning. If you do nothing else, just do that. It’s going to be okay.

Cardamom Vanilla Overnight Oats 
⅔ cup uncooked rolled oats (not instant) (55 g)
⅔ cup unsweetened non-dairy milk (160 ml)
2½ tablespoons raw almonds, chopped (20 g)
2 teaspoons 100% pure maple syrup
¼ teaspoon cardamom powder
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract


  • Place all of the ingredients into a bowl or container and stir to combine. Cover and place in the fridge overnight or about six hours.
  • The next morning, stir, top with extra chopped almonds, and enjoy.

If you want more flavor ideas, check them out here.


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Written by ex-boozer and ex-smoker, Molly Patrick that will help you eat more plants while throwing perfection down the garbage disposal.


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