August 27, 2023 by Molly Patrick

Experiencing life

Sometimes it’s really hard to be an adult. And sometimes it’s the best thing ever.

That’s the thing about life. We get to experience all of it, from the ecstatic to the painful. From the hilarious to the heartbreaking.

Some days, the temptation to slither solo into a dark cave is as inviting as a cabin in a snow-filled forest with a warm fire crackling in the fireplace, a pot of soup on the stove, a big comfy couch with a fuzzy blanket, a pile of good books, and the love of your life. The cave can be a very tempting place to hide out.

Other days, the love, light, and magic of the universe are so strong and apparent there’s no need to slither anywhere because you can feel that cozy cabin inside of you, and the love and warmth radiate from within.

What if one wasn’t better than the other?
What if all of the ups and downs and challenges and gifts and love and grief and orgasms and ugly crying were here for us to simply experience? What if going into that cave wasn’t necessary when things get tough?

Outside circumstances that hit internal stuff we haven’t yet healed, accepted, looked at, processed, or worked on feel one way (usually TERRIBLE).

Outside circumstances that hit internal stuff we’ve tended to, cared for, and shed love and light on feel another way (usually peaceful and loving).

This is why people who have worked on themselves have a much easier time experiencing joy, whereas people who are unwilling to work on themselves are more likely to seek pleasure. Both joy and pleasure bring relief, but joy comes from the inside and is lasting (think self-worth), and pleasure comes from the outside and is fleeting (think ice cream).

If you are a human person, life will suck sometimes, and it will be awesome other times. No one gets a pass to skip the hard parts. Knowing and accepting this is the first step in finding peace instead of constantly pushing against the challenging bits. When you stop pushing against the hard stuff, something happens, and you start to allow yourself to feel what it’s like to be fully human. You can feel love, hurt, rage, anger, happiness, despair, grief, wonder, sorrow, desire, embarrassment, shame, compassion—all of it. And it’s all okay.

None of these feelings are good or bad, or better or worse than another. They’re just different. One can feel like a tractor just rolled over your arm after you’ve been slapped by a mountain goat and spat on by a llama. And another can feel like that warm, cozy, love cabin with orgasms, good books, and hot soup.

We’re all here for the ride, don’t let the bumps send you to the cave, my dear. Your assignment is no assignment at all. Just feel how you feel and know it’s okay. The less you try and change it, the more joy you will eventually ignite from within.


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Written by ex-boozer and ex-smoker, Molly Patrick that will help you eat more plants while throwing perfection down the garbage disposal.


Not for those offended by the F word.