Life is all of it

Change.

It’s happening all the time. It’s the only true constant in the universe. Even when things feel stagnant, they are not.

Some changes knock the wind out of you in one fell swoop as your world spins upside down and tumbles all around. Some changes are subtle, quiet. They creep up on you until one day you’re looking in the mirror and you see wrinkles on your cheeks, and you're like, when did this happen?

Some changes are welcome, others not so much.

Sometimes, we get all twisty in the head because changes that we really want can feel terrible for a while. We think maybe we’re on the wrong path or made the wrong choice when really, it just takes time to adjust to something new, something different.

Change can be scary and uncertain.
It can be welcomed and loved.
It can be a pain in the ass.
It can be sloppy and messy.
It can literally alter your entire life.

I’ve always visualized change sort of like this:

I’m at an amusement park, and I’ve been in line to get on a twisty-turny several-stories-high rollercoaster. As I step into the ride, sit down, and get strapped in, my pulse quickens, and I start to panic. I suddenly want off the ride. I wave my hands and tell the person in charge that I want off, but it's too late. I’m already strapped in. The ride starts up, and my heart races with fear. The coaster creeps slowly up, up, up, up, up and I know what’s coming. Soon, it will go over the edge with me in it, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

Sometimes it sucks so bad that you want to skip entire parts. Last summer, when my oldest sister was being transferred from the hospital into hospice, I got a call from her son. All my nephew could say, his 37-year-old-man-voice trembling and cracking with heartbreak, was, “I can’t do this. I don’t want to be here.”

Sometimes, it’s like that. 

You gotta take the scary with the comfy.
The heartbreaking with the happy.
The awe-inspiring with the dreadful.
The darkness of night with the light of day.
The clouds with the sunshine.
The praise with the blame.
The easy with the hard.
The love with the loss.

Lately, I’ve added a different ending to my roller coaster scenario: As the coaster crawls and creaks its way to the top, I think to myself, yes, this is scary, but it also might be okay. Let’s fucking go.

We don’t have to like all the changes in our lives, and we can never fully prepare for them, but the more we accept that life is change, the easier it will be for us. We are strapped in. And at times, it will be horrible and sad and scary. But it will also be a sublime adventure filled with so much love, magic, beauty, laughter, and wonder that even with all the heartache, you joyfully marvel that you get to be here for the ride.

I’m so happy to be here with you.

Molly