Perfectly normal

We feel what we feel.

Love, joy, ease, fun, happiness—we usually don’t judge ourselves for having these feelings or actively try to push them away. We notice, welcome, and savor them.

But when we’re feeling desperate, angry, jealous, sad, embarrassed, anxious, defeated, overwhelmed, discouraged, or hopeless, it’s another story. These are not comfortable emotions, and we react very differently to them.

When I’m feeling these emotions, my first reaction is to judge myself, think there must be something wrong with me, compare myself to other people, assume I’m doomed, and desperately long to NOT feel this way—in that order. Then, I actively try to push the feeling away by turning to work, TV, social media, or food.

I can get so wrapped up in the discomfort of these emotions that I forget something.

We feel what we feel, and it’s perfectly normal and okay to feel whatever we’re feeling.

Once I remember this very basic truth, everything changes.
I no longer fight what I’m feeling.
I relax into it.
I allow.
I notice without judgment.
I soften.
I invite and welcome patience.
I give myself a free pass to be a messy, complicated, complex, and imperfect human like we all are.

From there, I can go about my day, feeling whatever I’m feeling with acceptance. There is less of a pull to distract from challenging emotions when you’re okay with feeling them.

Feeling hopeless can feel scary, but feeling angry and disappointed about feeling hopeless makes it feel 10 times worse. When we drop the judgment and allow ourselves to feel the base emotion, those challenging emotions are a lot more manageable. It will give you space and clarity to respond instead of react. It also helps to remember that our feelings are not our identity. Feeling hopeless does not mean you are hopeless. We are not our emotions, we feel our emotions.

The next time you’re feeling an emotion that makes you uncomfortable, write this down, and say it out loud:

I feel what I feel, and it’s perfectly normal and okay to feel whatever I’m feeling.

Then go on about your day with this acceptance, knowing there’s nothing wrong with you, even if you currently feel like hopeless donkey balls.

Sending you a virtual free pass to feel how you feel, my friend.

Molly