Comfort and beauty

It’s been a few weeks since I shared my sister's GoFundMe and I want to thank everyone who donated. What a kind and caring community this is. 💞 On behalf of Kirstie, myself, and my whole family, thank you.

Last Sunday, Kirstie had to go to the ER again due to another fever. She is battling stage 4 cancer, and these fevers have had her in and out of the hospital for months. She was admitted to the hospital, and they ran a bunch of tests.

She has an infection in her left kidney, her tumors have increased in size and quantity, and her red blood cell count was so low that she needed a blood transfusion ASAP. She is down to 115 pounds and has no energy. She was released from the hospital Thursday night. My mom and dad are with her, and I will be with her in a few weeks.

This is the trajectory of stage 4 cancer. The news of her hospitalization wasn’t a surprise, it just sucked. Cancer fucking sucks.

After I got off the phone with my mom and sister last Sunday, I was feeling all the feels. Sad, nervous, and overwhelmed were the most present. My chest felt heavy, and nothing could stop the tears from coming. After sitting with my feelings for a bit, I decided to take a deep breath, wipe my tears away, blow my snotty nose, get dressed, and continue with my day.

As I walked outside in the fresh air, I crossed paths with this iris.

It was so beautiful it stopped me in my tracks. I looked at it for a few minutes, admiring the colors, textures, and shapes. I took in the beauty and smiled with gratitude.

Really devastating things happen in life. And at the same time, beauty and comfort are waiting to greet us. It might be a song. A bird. A tree. A flower. A smile. A cup of tea. A blanket. A juicy pear. A meme. A poem. A book. A sunset. A hug. A sunny window.

Whatever comfort and beauty find you the next time you have a particularly hard day, allow it to sink in and fill you up. We can be sad and nervous and scared and overwhelmed, and also find happiness in the same breath. One does not negate the other. Instead, they create balance when it can seem otherwise impossible.

Have a beautiful weekend, my friend. May comfort and beauty find you when you need it most.

Molly