February 6, 2021 by Molly Patrick
A little nugget that changes everything
When we make any kind of change in our life, big or small, the people in our life will have lots of thoughts and feelings about it, and those thoughts and feelings won’t always be supportive.
They might call you weird.
They might think you won’t follow through.
They might feel like you’re abandoning them.
They might feel like there is something wrong with you.
They might judge you.
They might worry about you.
They might think you’re being selfish.
They might think your dreams and goals are too big.
They might think you don’t know what you’re doing.
Do you want to hear a little nugget that will change everything for you?
What other people think or say about you does not affect you unless you believe them.
This is fantastic news, my friend! This changes everything.
This means that people can think and say whatever the hell they want about you, and you get to decide whether or not it bothers you by simply looking at your own beliefs.
This means you get to take ownership and responsibility for how you feel.
It means that you get to reclaim your power and stop being a victim.
It means you get the opportunity to self reflect.
It means that you are in charge of your life and no one else gets to decide what you do with it, or how you feel along the way.
Let’s break this down and put it into action.
Write down all of the things that people have told you about your goals and dreams, or who you are as a person. You can also include things you think people think about you and your goals.
They can be things that strangers have said, things that your family has told you, it can be something that your best friend casually commented about, something said to you on Facebook, and things you think someone thinks about you - gather them all up and put pen to paper.
Now, go through each one and circle the ones that bother you. Maybe it pisses you off, maybe it makes you sad, maybe it makes you doubt yourself, maybe it makes you defensive, or maybe it makes you feel like giving up.
Congratulations, you now have a list of all the things you believe about yourself!
Ouch, I know. Bear with me.
Now it’s time to reflect and start asking yourself some questions.
For example, if I get upset because someone thinks I won’t follow through, the only reason I’m upset is because I believe that I won’t follow through. Let the exploration begin. Why don't I believe I follow through? Is that even true? (humans are good at believing things that aren't true) If it is true, is this an area I want to work on? How can I start following through? What's stopping me from following through? Why does it bother me that I don't follow through?
There are no right or wrong answers here, just things to get curious about and shed some light on.
Let’s say I get upset because someone thinks I’m weird. The only reason I’m upset is because I believe I’m weird. Now I get to ask myself questions. Why do I think I'm weird? Is this even true? Are other people weird? What am I making being weird to mean? Is being weird a bad thing? What scares me about being weird?
Once I get clear on my own thoughts and beliefs, what other people think or say won't bother me. It will be like someone announcing that they don’t like tea. Great! Doesn’t bother me one way or another!
This is a quick way to uncover, unpack, and really face the stuff that keeps bothering us on repeat. It’s not always easy, but it clears things up and empowers us along the way.
Over on today’s blog I’m talking about salad dressing and how buying pre-made salad dressing is bananas compared to making your own. We’re also giving you one of my all time favorite plant based caesar salad dressing recipes.
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