I think people are confused about a lot of things.
And rightfully so.
There’s a lot going on in the world and the speediness at which information is dispersed and distributed is shocking.
Information is more accessible now than it ever has been. I’m convinced that humans living longer and longer is evolutions handy work to make up for all the moments of our lives that are lost to screens.
To help you cut down on your screen time, I’m making today’s blog post short and sweet. Read this and then turn off your screen and go live your life.
Onward with my fuckery about things that are confusing.
Can you tell me what’s going on here? One time I checked out a book on the topic from the library, and after I finished reading it I was way more confused than when I started. I still have no fucking clue what it is except that Tom Cruise invented it.
I’m on it. I follow some people. Some people follow me. I know you can’t use more than 140 characters, and I think you’re supposed to hashtag your posts and maybe tag people. The rest is a mystery.
Pink and the fact that she’s not gay.
I’m also perplexed as to why this bothers me so much.
The root of this one could be because I was raised in a teepee, but how can people voluntarily sleep outside in the cold and shit in a hole? Don’t get it.
Enough about me and my confusing shit, today I want to clear something up that I see a lot of people around me struggling to understand. This is way less confusing than Scientology – promise.
First things first. Give me a virtual yes or no to the following question:
Are fresh organic blueberries a healthy food to add to your diet?
I’m going to stretch my body horizontally out on a limb and assume that you answered yes.
Now, what if I told you that one cup of blueberries has more carbohydrates than one piece of Wonder bread?
Does your answer remain the same, or do you think you should eat less blueberries and more Wonder bread?
This example is the crux of the confusion.
Let me break this down stupid simple.
Let’s pretend your best friend’s birthday is coming up and she really wants a new watch. Naturally, you march your ass to Family Dollar and you buy her a watch. You wrap it up and you’re stoked to give it to her. It’s finally her birthday and the first present your bestie opens is a present from her rich mom. She unwraps the box and what do you know, it’s a fuckin’ Rolex.
You cringe as your friend gets to your present and opens her shiny new Family Dollar special. This story is painful so I have to stop, but the point is, her blinged out Rolex and her dollar store time piece are both technically watches. But which would you prefer? Which one will last longer? Which one is higher in quality?
Rol- to-the- EX!
What I want you to draw from this story is that all watches are not created equal, just like all carbs are not created equal. Just because 1 cup of blueberries has more carbohydrates than a piece of wonder bread does NOT mean you should deny yourself delicious antioxidant rich blueberries and make a beeline for the “bread”.
Are we good? Okay – let’s keep going and break this down a little more.
The thing is, carbohydrates aren’t a food group, they’re a macronutrient, alongside fat and protein. They are found primarily in plant foods, and just like fat and protein, the body needs carbohydrates.
Let’s work this out.
When carbohydrates are broken down by our body, they turn into sugars, and these sugars are what fuels our cells. Now – here’s where the slope gets slippery, so bust out those snow chains and throw on a parka.
People who think low-carb diets are awesome, are under the impression that we don’t need carbohydrates because the human body is really fucking smart and if we don’t get enough carbohydrates, energy for our cells can be converted from the other two macronutrients, fat and protein. And this is true – sugars that fuel our cells can be converted by fat and protein, but that doesn’t mean we should avoid complex carbohydrates.
Check it out – even though our bodies are able to convert sugars from fat and protein, you know what it can’t make magically appear? A little thing called fiber. And another little somthin’ somethin’ called phytochemicals. Two really important things that you don’t get much of on a low-carb diet.
The other thing the body can’t do is wave a wand, David Blaine style and make excess cholesterol and saturated fat disappear from all the animal protein consumed on a low-carb diet. And regardless of your take, high cholesterol is the number one risk factor for heart disease, which is the leading cause of death in the United States and Australia.
The only way to get all the good stuff that our bodies really fucking appreciates while avoiding the stuff it doesn’t, is to focus your diet around complex carbohydrate rich whole plant foods.
No other foods give us the abundance of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, enzymes, fiber, and phytochemicals that whole plant foods provide, and when people turn to a strictly low-carb diet they’re missing out on the party.
I’m talking beans and legumes, nuts and seeds, veggies, fruits and whole grains. Holla’ to the all stars.
I’m going to land this baby by making one last thing really clear.
The carbs that everyone can agree on are shite are refined carbohydrates.
— Cakes, cookies, crackers, white flour, white bread, white pasta, donuts, candy, all the fun stuff that’s crap for our health – vegan or not.
Any food that has been stripped of its nutrients has no place in our pie hole. And this isn’t solely because they’re carb heavy, it’s because they’re void of nutrients and fiber and full of sugar and processed ingredients, making them health damaging, not health promoting.
So you see? It’s not as confusing as Scientology after all. Carbs aren’t bad guys – it’s the processed refined carbs in the form of delicious fucking donut holes that gives them a bad rap. Bad donut holes!
Whatever the nutrition topic, it always seems to come back to this:
It’s not about the quantity of what we eat, it’s about the quality of what we eat.
So today, let’s pinky swear to stop counting calories and carbs and start thinking about the quality of those calories and carbs. Deal?
If you’ve been avoiding bread purely because you’re trying to stay away from carbs, you’re going to want to make sweet love to today’s recipe.
Whole Food Plant Based Pesto and Mushroom Crostini with Cherry Tomatoes
- Heat a cast iron skillet over medium heat for about a minute and then add the walnuts.
- Turn the heat to low and toast the walnuts, stirring occasionally for 3 minutes. Keep an eye on them to make sure they don’t burn.
- Place the toasted walnuts along with the basil, garlic, lemon juice, sea salt and water in the food processor and process for several minutes until creamy and smooth.
For the Mushrooms
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons shallots, minced (20g)
1/4 cup parsley, chopped (8g)
4 cups mushrooms, sliced (230g)
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
- Heat a cast iron skillet over medium heat for a minute or so until it’s warm.
- Add the garlic, shallots and parsley and cook for a couple of minutes, adding 1 tablespoon of water at a time when the mixture starts to stick to the pan. You don’t want the pan to be full of water, you want the water to evaporate quickly just to give some moisture to the mixture. This will draw the flavor out of the garlic and the shallots.
- After 2 minutes or so, add the mushrooms and the sea salt and another tablespoon of water.
- Cook the mushrooms for 4 or 5 minutes, stirring frequently until all the mushrooms are soft.
Sprouted whole grain bread
Cherry tomatoes, cut into half or quarters
- Toast the bread, spread on a generous amount of pesto, pile on the tomatoes and top with the mushrooms.
- Cut into quarters and serve as an appetizer or finger food at your next camping Scientology party. Who knows, maybe Pink will show up and you can tweet about it. Just don’t invite me, I would have no idea where to even start.
I hope you have a lovely week. May it be filled with lots of blueberries and minimal screens.